Farimah’s words of wisdom, part 1.

We all have those people that cross our paths that change us, even if the moments are brief and duration short. And yet, the seemingly small moments over time stretch into the depths not yet explored within us. And with time, create seismic shifts in our view on life.

And Farimah is one of those people for me. 

Farimah is a social worker I had the privilege to work alongside over the last few years in hospice, a place where people with incurable illness go to spend their final days, weeks, and short months of life. And during her last week before retiring, I had the opportunity to ask her questions and pick her magical brain and wisdom from 11 years of working in palliative care, 25 years of being a social worker, and perhaps most importantly, decades long being who she is as a person. 

One of the things that struck me as we talked about our decisions to be in palliative care and the heaviness that frequently comes with holding space for patients and families in this emotionally heightened time. She reminded me that:

“We have the privilege to relate to others suffering because of what we’ve been through.” 

To not shy away from our own suffering in our histories, but to shine a light on these areas as they are a source of connection.

As it is in these difficult moments, where universal human emotions of grief, loss, longing, disappointment, joy, love exist. And it is sitting in these moments that we can relate to one another in a way that transcends class, race, wealth, age, religion. 

When I asked Farimah what her biggest lesson she learned from working all these years is, she tells me:

“Never make assumptions.” 

To approach every situation with humility. Be curious about people. What did they go through to be who they are today? 

Farimah reminded me that when we ask enough questions about people, we can often find within us a place of understanding and seeing people for who they are, beyond the armour of complex grief and anger that we sometimes see.

She reminded me that while it is easier to draw differences based on initial impressions, there is a fundamental thread of humanity that connects all of us.

Stay tuned for part 2.